WINNING IS(NT) EVERYTHING?

We have to WIN! If we don’t all is lost! The other folks will get the power and we will be LOSERS!  Sound familiar?  Just watch the election ads that will plague us for the next few years. It is all about coming in first, getting the power and squashing your opponent (doesn’t matter the party). We have glorified the mechanics of winning and ignored the purpose.  I watch politicians vilify each other, lie and hide behind religion, not to serve any purpose but their own ego.  Maybe it is time that we redefine what winning really is.

I grew up in the heyday of the Green Bay Packers.  Coached by the great Vince Lombardi, his quote “Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing,” has infiltrated our society.  Sure, I like it when the NY Giants or Mets win (no matter how infrequently) but those words should be confined to sports.  It is a great phrase to motivate an athlete, but I am saddened that this philosophy has become such a part of American life. I heard it from a young age, with statements like “The one who dies with the most toys WINS!”  We were taught to become winners with the definition of a winner being the one who is the richest, most famous and most powerful.  That means most of us are losers.  No wonder we are frustrated and depressed.  It means that a lot of politicians, business owners and us plain folk were encouraged to do just about anything to be a winner.  That philosophy exists everywhere from grade school to the corporate boardroom.  I have seen children and adults act in the most immoral ways to be number one. Politicians place winning above the common good, cheating for grades is common, and business leaders place profits above the welfare of the employee and the consumer.

I have to admit that I was confused.  Vince Lombardi was a devout Catholic.  Educated by Jesuits, he even studied to be a priest before finding his passion in football.  It seemed the philosophy of winning being the only thing was in direct conflict with his deep Christian beliefs.  So, I investigated and discovered there was far more to his philosophy than that sound bite.  Close to the end of his life, he once told a reporter, ”I wish to hell I never said the thing…I meant the effort…I meant the goal…I sure as hell didn’t mean for people to crush human values and morality.”

The more I read about his philosophy, the more that I realize that his definition of winning has been misinterpreted by millions.  It is not about beating someone else or coming in first; it is about the greatest victory of all, the pursuit of your individual potential.  It is about finding a passion and pursuing it to the very best of your ability.  It is about the strength of the team and the value of the individual to the organization.

Imagine if we translated that message into how we act in our personal lives and how to raise our children.  What if we taught them that the only thing they had to do to be a “winner” was to value themselves and do their best! I bet that the prevalence of depression and anxiety in children and teens (as well as adults) would drop like a rock.  No longer would they have to bully to feel powerful or accept bullying because they feel like a loser.  No longer would we have to judge our children and ourselves by impossible standards.  We wouldn’t even have to give out bogus trophies.  We could actually make our children feel worthy, without having to compare them to others.

Maybe if we changed our definition of winning, we would be able to address the problems we face in our country.  Just think what might happen if we sought goals instead of power.  Just maybe we could unite again with a society that addresses real issues without resorting to hate and violence.

I end with what I believe should be the quote that Vince Lombardi should be remembered for, a definition of an authentic winner.

“The measure of who we are is what we do with what we have.”