WINNING ISN”T EVERYTHING

Sounds really Un-American doesn’t it? It is the day before the Super Bowl and the country is in the midst of crazy. There is the puppy bowl going on, baby races are on national TV, and cooking competitions for the best wings abound. People are quoting the great coach, Vince Lombardi, who said “Winning isn’t everything, it is the only thing.” I can understand that, after all it is a sport and bookies have to make a living.

What I can’t understand (or agree with) is the way WINNING has infiltrated every aspect of our society. Just look at the political climate. I don’t care who you support, but when politicians focus on rallying around a bill that some don’t believe in so that they can deliver a WIN for the President, SOMETHING IS WRONG!   All of a sudden the “win” has become more important than anything else. Who cares what problems will be caused in the future as long as we have a win today! Winning has become synonymous with success, losers are failures.

That message to our children is frightening. I see them competing in every area of their existence from looks, to sports, to who has the best cell phone that their parents can(‘t) afford. They have learned to judge their worth by whether they win. Children stop trying because they become afraid of being identified as a loser, the person who practices gymnastics or basketball stops doing what they love because they don’t win. They are given a message that creates an environment ripe for bullying, cheating and lying; after all, whatever it takes to win is worth it. Not to mention the poor self esteem, anxiety, depression, and suicide that can result when your child realizes that they are not number one!

The most important message that you can give your child is that there is only one person they are in competition with, THEMSELVES! The message that needs to be taught is “DO YOUR BEST.” The message to avoid is “YOU MUST BE THE BEST.” Why? Because no matter how gifted and wonderful your genetic creation is, there will always be someone better. Out of the billions of people in the world, there will always be someone better looking, more talented, richer or more athletic than them. If you celebrate their effort, their personal improvement, you will raise a person who feels good about themselves. If you demand they be the best, you condemn them to a life where they will never accept themselves or feel good about their accomplishments.

So, enjoy Super Bowl Sunday and may the best team win! (If I don’t say GO PATRIOTS my wife would never forgive me!)