Treat them like your dog

My wife and I had been invited to a cocktail party (both activities I do well). You know what happens as soon as you arrive. You are introduced and asked, “What do you do for a living?” I have never learned my lesson because I always say that I am a marriage and family therapist. Then, comes the question. This time it was ”What can I do with my kid, I really like my dog better than I like him at times.”

I must now resort to full disclosure. My edit button broke at about the age of 50 and I replied “maybe you should start treating him like your dog and see if things improve.” Immediately, I got the “LOOK.” You know the stare that implies that you have lost your mind and better be quiet. So, what did I do? I kept talking.

I explained that after you take care of the basic needs of the puppy (food, shelter, vaccinations) you establish a consistent and stable environment. You give the pooch a routine with a lot of positive reinforcement for good behavior. That sounds pretty similar to raising a toddler. Then things start to change.

Examine the routine you established with your furry friend. You wake up in the morning, pet them, and take the dog for walk, making sure that they are set for the day. You get home from a tough day at work and get greeted by a wagging tail. What do you do? You bend over, pay attention to them and take them for a nice long walk. You know when to keep them close and when to take off the leash so that they can run free. When they poke you with their nose and demand that you play with them, you patiently throw that chew toy across the room and laugh at their antics. After dinner, at the very least, you snuggle with them and tell them what a good dog they are.

I believe that if we were to interact with our children in the same way we interact with our pets, both parent and child would benefit. According to the American Time Use Survey report⁶, released on June 24, 2015, parents spend about five minutes a day in meaningful interaction with their child, and that includes reading to young ones. I do not know of any pet owner that doesn’t spend more time than that with their animals!

Unfortunately, it is too easy for us to push our kids aside. Not that we don’t love them, we just figure that they will understand that mommy and daddy are tired. They are not as persistent as the pooch that refuses to be pushed away and we view that as acceptance rather than disappointment. Give the same amount of attention and time to your child as you do to your pet and you will enjoy the change.

The party went well. I was not pelted with dog biscuits or bitten on the ankle. Even better, later that week, I saw the father walking the dog WITH his son.