TEACH VALUES

I am back after taking a time out!  I didn’t stop writing for any noble reason, like volunteering in a poor area, saving the whales, or spending time with the family.  I stopped because I was just used up.  Like millions of people, I am shocked at how our society has deteriorated. The Church on Main St. has become the Church on Wall St. It’s altar of worship is dedicated to acquisition.   We have decided that a human’s value is determined by their net worth.  Our children and elderly are viewed as either economic opportunities or liabilities.  Winning by any method is considered success.  Whether in business, Congress, or getting your kids into an elite school by bribery, behavior is only wrong if you get caught.  We fight about who is right not what is right!  

I saw all of this starting to reflect in the families that I work with and was ready to give up.  I was worn down by parents who continually told me that “They have to learn how to operate in this world.”  No one has ever asked me how their children can learn how to make a positive difference in the world.  I was tired by peers who say, “I am too old to get involved, anyway I will be dead before the world changes or blows up.”  

I do not blame the politicians who care more about themselves than their country.  I do not blame the pharmaceuticals who charge an immoral and unjustified price.  I do not blame the government for failing in it’s duty to children, the elderly and the marginalized.  I blame US! We are the adults that allowed this to happen.  We are the ones who are responsible.  

So, how do we get things to change?  Guess what? We have secret weapons at our disposal-our children and grandchildren! We change by going back to the basics – the family unit.  I have written a lot about the techniques of parenting.  Now, I will start writing about the essence of parenting – teaching your children values!  This is the toughest part of parenting.  You cannot give this part of your job to anybody else.  Your values might be reinforced by others, but it is you who must instill them, not teachers, clergy, coaches and DEFINITELY not politicians. 

Let me give you an example of how children see what your values are.  Let’s look at our current president.  I have never heard President Trump referred to as an honest, ethical or fair human being by either his proponents or detractors.  His claim to fame has been the economy.  So, when children see you celebrating the stock market increase instead of voicing concern about the myriad of critical issues facing the country, what values are being learned?  

When they see the elderly and children unable to afford medication, decent housing or food what values are we teaching?

When they see our elected officials, sports heroes and the wealthy, bully, threaten and intimidate others, how can we explain to them that type of behavior is not tolerated on the playground?    

When we tell them to lie about their age to get a cheaper ticket, cheat on our tax return or call in sick just to get a day off, what is the value that we are trying to instill?

Values are the most fundamental beliefs of a person, the most important part of their life.  It will guide their behaviors and create the future of the human race.  Instilling values in your children is more important than any of the mechanics of parenting.  The mechanics should flow from your values, they don’t come first.  

Let me set the record straight.  I believe in hard work, ethical profits and a society where a leading cause of poverty and bankruptcy is not medical bills.  I believe that winning at all costs is not a victory but a loss.  I believe in God, family and all sorts of good stuff.  I also believe that I am scared of what will happen if we abandon our values for the sake of stuff and ego.  

If none of this worries you, just remember one thing.  The values that you instill in your children is what will determine how they treat you as you get older.  Hopefully, they will get you a tricked out wheelchair rather than a one wheeled scooter.