HAPPY FATHERS DAY

It has been forty years since I began the journey that is called fatherhood.  It has been a bumpy road at times, marked by joy, sadness, pride and worry.  It is a path that I am grateful that I have traveled.  I am blessed with wonderful children, their spouses and six incredible grandchildren (proof that your children can do some things really well). I am also thankful to have had Claire by my side for all those years, a true partner in the chaos of parenting.

Fatherhood has changed dramatically over the last forty years, an evolution that has made you more of a partner in parenting.  Unfortunately, there has also been a tendency to diminish your importance. I am not denigrating single mothers; they have the most difficult job in the world. I am shouting from the rooftop that you are an essential teacher and that it is your lessons that will help shape the life of your child.

In some ways becoming a father is more difficult than becoming a mother.  Mom, please hear me out before you hunt me down and impale me on Lincoln Logs.  Lets face facts, men and women are different.  Moms carry a child around in their bodies for 9 months, acting as a hotel with room service and a hot tub.  Men spend 9 months confused and trying to make sure that they don’t say the wrong things.  When my children checked out of their hotel, Claire reached for them with joy and a love that I cannot describe and men will truly never understand.  I stood there thinking “I hope I don’t drop that slimy little critter.”  Maternal love comes more naturally than paternal love.  Moms think nothing of cleaning up their toxic waste, Dad’s first inclination is to look for a hazmat suit.  We need to learn the feelings that come more easily to mom. That doesn’t make Dad less important, just different.

Dad, you are your child’s teacher.

-When they see you treating your spouse with kindness and respect, they will model that behavior and expect it as well.

-When they see you putting them ahead of work to come home and watch gymnastics or T ball, they will feel valued and learn what should be life’s priorities.

-When they see you forgive and help the less fortunate they will learn what true strength is.

– When they see you treat others equally and with respect, they will not bully.

– When they see you do the “right thing” despite the possible hardship, they will learn morals and courage.

– When they see you say “I’m sorry,” they learn that it is ok to make a mistake and take responsibility.  They don’t have to be right or perfect to be loved

– When you worship and teach them about a loving God, they learn that they are wonderful, unique human beings worthy of love and respect.  They realize they are part of the Universe, not the center of it.

Dad, I could go on but I will leave you with what science says about you:

Children with involved fathers:
• Are less likely to have behavioral problems or be incarcerated
• Do better in school
• Are less likely to live in poverty
• Have improved health and emotional well being throughout their lives

I end with the words of Wade Boggs, an incredibly gifted athlete, who said about his father,

“You taught me the game and you taught me how to play it right.”’

HAPPY FATHERS DAY