Goodbye Resolutions! Happy New Year

I am the master of resolution! Every New Year I pick out something I want to change about myself and every year (like millions of my fellow humans) I fail. I think I have figured out why. A “resolution” implies that there is something about you that is defective and in just a few months you are going to “fix” yourself. No wonder that the vast majority of resolutions fail! Remember when your parent or a boss tried to tell you what to do? Oh yeah, it might have been good advice but that little voice in your head was saying, “I don’t want to and you can’t make me.” That is the same as your rational mind coming up with a bunch of rational “shoulds” and your emotional mind is saying “Nope.” Your rational mind might hang in there for a while but it is the emotional mind that will win!

Smoking is a perfect example. It seemed like every New Year for a decade, I was going to give them up. After all, my rational mind said that smoking was not smart; it cost a lot, and messed with my health. My rational mind proclaimed that I was an idiot as I stood outside in the wind and rain to get a hit of nicotine. My emotional mind said to the rational mind “Screw you, I like it.” What was the final emotional trigger that made me stop smoking over a decade ago? The birth of my first grandchild. It wasn’t health warnings; it was my feelings that made the difference. It is the same with food. I have never backed away from a linguine challenge because of my concern about triglycerides; it is because I want to live more fully. If you focus on the positive emotional change the negative behavior stuff will keep shrinking away.

So, I have officially deleted the term “resolution” from my life and replaced it with the word goal. Instead of a bunch of resolutions, I made it my goal to live a healthier life and to identify how to get there. Eating better, taking a walk, meditating, even taking out time for a nap, all contribute to my goal. If I blow it in one area, I can still keep going.

How about improving your family and relationships? That’s a great goal and it can be made up of a bunch of different actions. WARNING!!!! This is one area that you want to get the input of your spouse. You might think that bringing your wife a rose on occasion counts a lot but she might inform you that not being a slob is much more meaningful. Eat dinner together three or four times a week with no TV, cell phones or tablets so that you may rediscover the reason why you are living under the same roof.

Finally, make it a goal to examine your purpose in life. This is a tough one! It forces us to examine our spiritual beliefs, to determine what is most important in our lives, what we truly need and what we just want. A purpose moves us forward and gives life meaning. Make your life a journey of purpose and you will truly have a

HAPPY NEW YEAR