ADDICTED

I was on the way to work and realized that I had not had my morning dose. I panicked, my hands started to sweat, my anxiety went through the roof and I began to think about detox. Drugs, alcohol? Nope. CELL PHONE!!!

How could I get through the day? How could I type AMEN, hit like over someone’s cat (even if I don’t like cats) and worry about what was posted about me? Where else could I find political lies, how much weight a celebrity has lost and pleas to send money to a false charity? How else would I be able to ignore a spouse, a child or a friend? How else could I show how important I am by being available 24/7?

I did the unthinkable. I kept driving and left my cell phone home. I survived. I looked at the phone on my desk and realized that I could be reached in an emergency. I didn’t feel compelled to look at my phone every 10 minutes “just in case.” My blood pressure dropped.  I was more focused, less anxious, and felt a certain amount of relief that I was less available.

I will never say that the cell phone and the information revolution has not given society tremendous gifts. Unfortunately, it has had some really negative impacts, especially on the family. I have seen parents glued to the screen rather than watch their children play. Think of how they feel when Mommy and/or Daddy is too involved with their phone to watch them; no wonder I see children with problems of self worth. I have seen couples in my waiting room totally focused on their facebook accounts (easy to figure why they needed marriage counseling). What really blew my mind was during a recent trip to Disneyworld, there was a family of eight totally engrossed in social media while fireworks were going off overhead and characters were dancing around. It was sad.

The temptation for adults to escape reality, to ignore a whiney child or an annoying spouse is great. We can always hide behind a game, find someone who agrees with us and enter a world without human interaction. If these little phones have such power over adults, think of what they can do to our children.

I have had many parents tell me that they wanted their children to have phones for safety, but smartphones are anything but safe. Websites on cutting, sexting, pornography, choking games, the best ways to get high, all that and more is available on smartphones. Do you really want 10 year-olds having access to that type of information? If you are worried about their physical safety, get them a cell phone with prepaid minutes and no access to the internet. I really don’t care what they want, it is what they need that matters. They do not need to post to Facebook, tweet, or upload pictures to Instagram (that will forever exist online) from a handheld device. Sadly, they get a false sense of worth by the number of “friends” that they have on social media that when those “friends” turn on them they are devastated, even suicdal. They might not develop social skills but their hand to eye coordination is awesome. Their mouths were created for communicating, not their thumbs!

My grandchildren were amazed (and somewhat dubious) when I told them that when I was growing up we all had to share a phone, that it was attached to the wall with a cord, and there were no games on it. It was meant for one thing, TALKING! It connected us with one person at a time, not 10 million strangers.

Smart phones have created a new reality and the only way to protect your children is to model good “phone behavior.” Make meal time off limits for all electronics; leave the phone off when you go to the sporting event or playground.   Let them see you talking instead of texting!   Show them that they are more important than an electronic device.